Juno what? I don't buy it.

This movie doesn't deliver.

Yes, it is true that it was nice to have a movie in Best Picture contention this year that did not have a psychopathic, blood-thirsty ruthless killer in it. As Jon Stewart said during the Oscars telecast, "thank God for teen pregnancy!"

While "Juno" is cute, and jaunty, and takes on a slightly askew point of view that others find refreshing; I certainly cannot agree that it is realistic in any capacity. The gushing reviews for Ellen Page are unwarranted, and it's not the young Canadian actress' fault, necessarily.

The Academy awarded screenwriter Diablo Cody (not her real name, but the former exotic dancer's stage name) her first Oscar for penning a script that is pedantic and insincere, and tries far too hard to come off as cool, rather than heartfelt.

This makes it impossible for any of the actors to appear natural or speak normally. Page's title character, Juno, is smooth-talking and unflappable; do you know any young woman who could possibly be so unruffled upon finding herself pregnant in such a situation? Me neither.

Both her relationship with her parents and her boyfriend, and the dialogue that ensues, are plastic and shallow. The parents, played against type by Allison Janney and J.K. Simmons are supposed to be supportive and non-judgemental; which only succeeds in having them steal every scene they are in, but does not offer a practical view of any parents' normal reactions to their daughter's predicament.

The lovely Michael Cera is clueless as the hapless boyfriend, a charming sort of lovable loser, played with sweetness by the actor, but again unfortunately left to stumble over the hurdles of Cody's dialogue.

Jennifer Garner does a tidy job as the prospective adoptive mother, showcasing some honesty she's developed as a result of being a new mother herself. Here I found that first-time director Jason Reitman (Ivan's son) leads her to some obvious characterizations that distract the audience from sympathizing with Garner's character's plight. The perfect home, the buttoned-up wardrobe, the wringing of hands all take away what might have been a believable role.

To my surprise, the only actor who got away with making his role both sympathetic and honest was Jason Bateman, whom I had long ago written off as a mediocre child star. He inhabits the reluctant adoptive father role with such ease that he shrugs off the shackles of the painful script with an open smile and an honesty that for once allows the audience to engage with the story.

While this film has it's charms, they are tarnished by a coat of lacquer so thick you can't see the natural beauty "Juno" could have had.