the plastic pantomime

Recently published ...

2009-11-26T12:26:00.000-08:00

Hey kids. It's been a while, I know. Sorry about that. Yours truly has been busy joining the rat race and not writing for fun as much as for cash. I'm a freelance mercenary now and I kinda like it.So I generally am not a toot-your-own-horn kind of person, but this is sort of big deal for me personally. I had a great time recently working with the ace staff over at Wedding Essentials magazine.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

2009-01-09T17:15:00.000-08:00

I saw this. It was great!Shut up. It was. And not just because Keanu was in it. Well, partially. But really, no need for the critics to pan it so harshly. I've seen dozens of crappy films, and honestly, this one wasn't one of them. So do yourself a favour and go see it on a big screen before it's gone. The effects are terrific, the story is poignant, the actors are natural (and handsome! Hello

The Best Thing about Movie Trailers Was This Guy…

2008-09-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

It was reported today that Don LaFontaine, 68, has died. Why do you care?Because Don was *THE* movie trailer voiceover artist. He had worked forever in the Hollywood movie industry, and his enticing baritone voice was famous for intoning his trademark phrase, “In a world where…[insert crazy movie plot summary here]… only one man can save them… “.NOW you know who I mean, don’t you? I can see

The X-Files Movie: Saying goodbye

2008-08-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

Better late than never, right?I had to wait a week to see it after opening, as my date was trying to cajole me into seeing some batshit-crazy dude with a penchant for purple suits instead, but I remained committed to seeing my old pals Smoulder and Scully.Lordy, it's been a long time coming, so unless you were a hardcore X-Phile ten years ago (Guilty!), it gets a little difficult to muster up a

2008-06-04T13:50:00.000-07:00

New book recommendation!It's called "Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.It calls itself, "a no-nonsense, tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous!"It's a fast, funny read. It will kick you in your (fat, lazy) ass and give you some insight while making you laugh throughout. I loved it. It sneaks up on you when it gets a bit serious,

Flight of the Clever Monkey

2008-04-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

In a few short days, less than a week, yours truly is taking off to be in New York City at the same time as these dudes, to catch two of their show dates back-to-back.As I can think of nothing else until then, and probably after, for a while... I leave you with this and my intentions to post again once I've regained my sanity. Thanks for waiting!

Street Kings

2008-04-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

I was so torn about reviewing this movie that I have managed to distract myself for a week before coming to the inevitable conclusion, despite my own predilection towards Keanu Reeves, that "Street Kings" isn't actually very good.I wanted it to be. It's been a while since my darling Keanu's last film ("The Lake House" - quite good all round with only a few weak spots) so I was hot for some

"Walk Hard" - Laugh Harder

2008-04-09T10:22:00.001-07:00

Last night, Mr. Monkey and I sat down to watch a movie. Together. In the same room at the same time. A minor miracle.As it's been a while, we rented a few to choose from. When he asked me which I wanted to see, I said, "There Will Be Blood" because I've promised some of you a review of that for a while - see, I didn't forget! So he agreed, and I went for a drink, came back and settled

Should I "Get Smart" or is "Love Guru" All I Need??

2008-03-26T12:33:00.001-07:00

Decisions, decisions!Summer movie posters are out, and I can tell you already that on June 20th, I'll be outside my local cineplex... but which ticket will I buy?Help!I *LOVE* Steve Carell... but when Mike Myers gets lost in costume, he's *SHAGADELIC*...They both look like so much fun, and Mike's Canadian, which (in my patriotic opinion) puts him in the lead, but Steve looks absolutely spot-on in

One Small Leapster for Man...

2008-03-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

Kids fighting? Care to solve household strife? Want to stop your little one from bugging the life out of your bigger one? The answer: Leapster.My little guy, nearly 4, is always following my 8 year old; driving him nuts with his desire to do what his brother does, play with his brother's toys, and generally gets in his way during his down time. My older son LOVES his Nintendo DS. (

I'm Addicted to MockBand!!

2008-03-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is technically called RockBand. I don't care WHAT you call it, just move over and hand me those drumsticks!!I heart this game.It's insane - I'm not the demographic for it AT ALL. It's supposed to be marketed to young, single guys (I am neither young nor single, nor a guy) with lots of time and money (again, totally not me) who listen to a lot of music and like to hang out with their

Horton Hears A Boo!

2008-03-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

Somebody stop me!I'm going to scream if anyone suggests it's a good idea to put Jim Carrey and Dr. Suess together again.Just came back from taking the pip-squeaks to see the newest animated mess that is "Horton Hears A Who" and the only nice thing I can say is, well, it's better than "The Grinch". Even the pip-squeaks were somewhat underwhelmed. But it was the last day of a cold March break,

The X-Files: The Film is Out There!

2008-03-12T11:42:00.001-07:00

X-Philes: Let us Hold Hands and Sing Hallelujah!X-Files stars unveil release date for next film Updated Wed. Mar. 12 2008 12:44 PM ET The Canadian Press VANCOUVER -- The truth is out there and it's coming to Vancouver this afternoon. The stars of the long-running X-Files television series, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, will be in the city to

There Will Be Milkshakes!

2008-03-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

I am going to watch the Oscar-nominated film "There Will Be Blood" this weekend. We both know I'm gonna be yelling "I drink your milkshake!" before the credits roll, so...What better beverage to accompany it than the long-lost, oft-forgotten, limited-time-only Shamrock Shake? Since Daniel Day-Lewis is Irish, I thought it was the right thing to drink... and besides, I don't like Guiness.Since

Juno what? I don't buy it.

2008-03-08T18:12:00.000-08:00

This movie doesn't deliver.Yes, it is true that it was nice to have a movie in Best Picture contention this year that did not have a psychopathic, blood-thirsty ruthless killer in it. As Jon Stewart said during the Oscars telecast, "thank God for teen pregnancy!"While "Juno" is cute, and jaunty, and takes on a slightly askew point of view that others find refreshing; I certainly cannot agree

Who likes to rock the party?

2008-03-07T10:11:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I was a normal, functioning person. I got my kids to school on time, I remembered to feed them at night, I used to know the colour of my husband's eyes.Then I saw a little show that changed all that. A summer replacement program on HBO.I used to call my friends occasionally. I even remembered my Mother's birthday. Now my only friends are virtual, crazy, like-minded fanatics